It started with a kiss...
When I was 17 years old, I was confident and outgoing. I was attending local college
where I studied hairdressing, and I loved singing, did gigs and sang with a band.
I was ambitious. Wanted my own Salon.
There was no stopping me,
Until I met a control freak who took over my whole life. He soon became physically abusive and, on several occasions, he hospitalised me.
The police were often called out and, when they offered to help me, I would just say I was OK, fearing the consequences if I said otherwise.
People questioned my reasons for staying with him when he was so bad to me but I found it hard to explain to them how I was feeling inside. On the surface I looked normal, but underneath I was falling apart. When I left him, it was just a matter of time before I returned. This seemed, at the time a better option and a short cure for the after effects such as panic attacks, re-occurring nightmares, depression and anxiety and, of course, I gave in to his tears and promises to change.
When I finally found the strength to leave and make a complaint to the police, it was a bank holiday. I waited for the domestic violence unit to re-open to make a statement. When the police came to interview me at my mother's house, their summary was that this was one of the worst cases of systematic abuse that they had come across for my age group and that it would probably go before the Crown Court. But, due to mistakes within the criminal justice system, the case was thrown out of court. Although the case was reinstated, it was too late. I had lost all confidence and returned to him.
It has taken me five years to make the final break and this only came about after my mum took the necessary steps to protect my baby daughter from the violence. It made me realise how bad the situation really was. My baby was the best thing to come out all this.
I am happy now and rebuilding my life.
I would like to thank the women and girls at Chrysalis for never giving up on me. And for sharing your own experiences.
You have the right to live your life free from fear and abuse.
This case was successfully handled with assistance from Moorecroft Solicitors.
Contact: Rachael Burns on 0151 236 8871.